Your Kids Mobile Phone

[Vinnie]

For those that have teenage kids, Im guessing that most have a mobile phone, and on said mobile, will likely have Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram accounts, and all the countless others.

Do you periodically check your kids phone and for what purpose?

Is it to check their security?  Is it to check what they don't tell you?  If you don't check, why not?

My lad is 13 and hates the idea that I would look through his phone and check up on what he's doing.  Makes me all the more curious as to what he's hiding.

[Digs]

Tricky one. I don't have any of them on facebook, My Mrs does though to keep an eye on what they are posting, and I follow them on Snapchat and Instagram for the same reasons. 

I've only ever had cause to check one of their phones once but it was more for their own good than anything bad on their part. They are both well schooled in online security and behaviour, and os I trust them mostly. They probably both say and do things I'd not like, but no more than things I said in real life when I was teenager, so I'm not too fussed. We are more keen to point out, and we do labour this, that in online life as well as real life, actions have consequences, and so we batter home the message that if it's not something you'd want your mum to see, then don't post/share or say it. 

If you think there is an issue of either their, or another kids safety though, then I think you are perfectly within your rights as a parent to check their phones, and I would without hesitation. At the end of the day, I pay for them anyway, so technically they're my devices, not theirs.

 

[Vinnie]

I think that there is an element of do as I say, not what I did, when it comes to teenagers.  Especially as they have far more access to "stuff" than we ever did, and therefore think they know better than we did.

The other thing to consider is if you say not to do something to a kid, they want to do it even more.  Its like a "WET PAINT" sign, you feel compelled to check it!!

 

[Digs]

It is a minefield for kids nowadays. When we were young, if you interacted with someone, you could see them. You could see that they were older/younger, you could see if they looked trustworthy or if they looked shifty, you could judge if someone had ulterior motives. Those instincts are built in and are infinitely easier to determine face to face than online. Ours kids arguably have to be a bit more streetwise, albeit in an online sense. I don't envy teenagers in a lot of ways nowadays. Jesus, camera phones would have ruined lots of our lives had they been around in our day....

[Guest The Beer Baron]

The only way round it is to restrict under 16s to 3310 type handsets until they come of age. Problem sorted.

[Johan_cruyff]

My son is so naive its scary. He's 13 and has a phone and iPad. I check them weekly. He still believes that I pull an IP address report from the router every Sunday to track every website and app that he has been on. No idea how to even think about doing that but he seems to believe it. 

He did jailbreak both his own and school issue iPad a few months back so I marched him to the principals office to make him 'fess up.  Its just the Xbox live I dot really know who he is playing against but I do have it in the living room so he's playing in front of us most of the time. 

[Vinnie]

My son is so naive its scary. He's 13 and has a phone and iPad. I check them weekly. He still believes that I pull an IP address report from the router every Sunday to track every website and app that he has been on. No idea how to even think about doing that but he seems to believe it. 

 

Brilliant!! I wish I could have thought of that!!

[Paradox]

I took a fairly strict approach to it, as my kids spend a lot of time online, but are woefully naive, and refuse to accept what I am saying (as do most kids with their parents tbf):

1. Contract phones, with minimal data - any online activity restricted by home wifi limitations
2. Only Snapchat and Instagram allowed for social media - and I follow them on both
3. Using a combination of Sky Broadband Shield, and the two packages below, the home wifi is pretty much locked down, with sites 'whitelisted' - no chat sites, etc first without being checked by me.
   1. K9 Web Protection
   2. Qustudio
4. All XBox games are subject to "Family Controls"

Best advice I can give is to be overly protective when it comes to the Internet - there are too many dark spaces to cover if you are not vigilant.  YouTube can be particularly bad - I had to blacklist the whole one site at one time as one of my kids had nightmares from one of the horror videos he was sneakily watching in bed.

[JR Ewing]

Both my kids have iPads and my daughter has an iPhone. Regularly check them both and remind them of the many "perils" of online and social media.

 

[Secure Par]

Jesus I'm going to have to go through this with Miss Secure soon ??

 In a way I'm glad I never had all this as a kid. 

[JR Ewing]

Jesus I'm going to have to go through this with Miss Secure soon ??

 In a way I'm glad I never had all this as a kid. 

Too true. How old is the wee one ?

It was definitely much easier back in our day. We just gave each other a kicking and then moved on. Now, once stuff is "out there" on the internet it seems to haunt kids forever.

[Vinnie]

Following up on the initial post, I spoke to the lad about this last night.  I thought he was quite savvy, or at least, his school reports seem to suggest he's quite quick on the uptake.   Was a bit confused, therefore, that the school offers no advice on online security and the like as part of their Computing Science or RME classes.   That cant be right?

 

 

[Deutsch Par]

That is surprising, you would think that it would be built in to one of them, especially as most employers now have a social media policy.

[Vinnie]

That is surprising, you would think that it would be built in to one of them, especially as most employers now have a social media policy.

I kind of get the impression that he wasn't listening fully in those classes at the right times?

[Secure Par]

Jesus I'm going to have to go through this with Miss Secure soon ??

 In a way I'm glad I never had all this as a kid. 

Too true. How old is the wee one ?

It was definitely much easier back in our day. We just gave each other a kicking and then moved on. Now, once stuff is "out there" on the internet it seems to haunt kids forever.

11 and starts the High school this year.

I read an article on this cyber bullying and some of the stuff that gets put out there is terrible and destroys kids confidence etc.

I was round at my mates and his daughter(14) was texting her pal that lived 5 doors away. Would it not be better to go round and see your friend and GO OUT and do something. He said this is what they all do, sit on their devices all the time.